just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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