Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She bit a glass in half.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
