Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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