at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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