Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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