hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
