Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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