Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
she told me i tasted like america
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
