There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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