My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Couch. On fire.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
