Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
