Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.

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(480): View more from Arizona

Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?

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(314): View more from Missouri

shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.

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(931): View more from Tennessee

He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.

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(845): View more from New York

and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car

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(231): View more from Michigan

My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.

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(636): View more from Missouri

Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.

(918): View more from Oklahoma

Holy Shit Mom

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