Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
