There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize