oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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