I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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