I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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