handjob tips. give me some.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
