My liver just broke up with me...
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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