how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
what day is it and did you see me today?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
