Too much gin, very little bucket
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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