So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I think people are normalizing furries
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
