I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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