let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
