no, he came in my armpit
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
