The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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