your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
