All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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