I smell stomach acid.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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