I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
