so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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