he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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