So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
