Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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