Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
