Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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