Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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