And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
