You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
