The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
