i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
