I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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