Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
