And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
