Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
We were destined to go to rehab together
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
