found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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