that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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