He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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