What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
We have so much sex to catch up on
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
