that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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